If I had an iPhone... Lah-da-da-da-da-da-dee

iPhone, oh iPhone, how I despise, and yet covet thee. 

I, myself have a very standard and practical phone. Or as I like to call it: boring, and useless. It is simple. It makes calls, and receives calls (well maybe not from a certain few). I also text. That is all. I have seen iPhones for many years now, and naturally felt an unfamiliar draw and desire within myself. I hate myself for admitting this, but I want an iPhone, okay? I do. I want one.

Even though there is a written admission of my iPhone desire, this doesn't mean I must like or condone certain smartphone practices. For instance, I will always despise in the moment any person that texts, searches the internet, takes photos, or answers the phone while I am with them. Unfortunately, this practice has become quite ordinary, and I dare say accepted. Well, I reject this idea, and I declare it to be incredibly rude, and blatantly self-absorbed. There is a time and a place. If I'm with another person, spending what I hope to be quality time, it's obnoxious beyond what I can process or explain. When I'm speaking to the top of someone's eyelid, as they scan their phone, and say, "Yeah, uh-huh. Keep Talking.... I'm listening," No you're not listening, and I don't like it. There is also the common practice of "watching" movies, while everyone around me is on their smartphone. I hate this! So, no. No, I tell you. No. Please don't. STOP. Okay? I'd appreciate it. We cool? Yes, no, okay. 

I vow to never do these things, if the universe grants me the funds to pay for a data plan. That is all...

...And... I came across these babies:

I'm such a simple creature. An iPhone is not nearly as exciting to me as a Harry Styles iPhone Case. Say what you will, but it's happening. Now, if only I could narrow it down to four...