Tommy on the Right

He makes me cry...

New Favorite Tommy Shaw Song.

Childhood Dreams

Once upon a time Pauly Shore was the greatest living actor. Now, no one knows where he is or what he's doing. Because of his brilliant career, I've had a life long dream to own five of his hit movies. During the Hay Day of his career, he created such fantastic films as:

1. Encino Man

2. Son-in-Law

3. In the Army Now

4. Jury Duty

5. Bio-Dome

I have searched high and low for these films over the past few years. Finally, after a few trips to Wal-Mart and my new favorite store, I'm the proud owner of all five. There's a wonderful used DVD, BOOK, MUSIC store I visited in Logan, UT called Hastings. It's one magical location. Just a few weeks ago I found a Hastings in Idaho Falls, ID. It's so important me! I make a trip there almost every week. Thanks to this gem of a store, I've also found some childhood favorites.

I just found Troop Beverly Hills. Love it! I've also become a recent owner of Teen Witch, Matilda, White Fang, The Three Musketeers, The Great Chipmunk Adventure, and Baby Boom. These movies were my childhood. Watching these movies reminds me of being a kid.

I miss it...

Tokyo Drift

I'm officially back at school. Yikes... Dear heavens, it's been quite the busy, complicated, and overwhelming time. I can't think of one thing that has gone right, but I suppose that's just life. Things are bound to be difficult, but I'm learning to recognize the good and sometimes painstakingly funny situations I find myself in.

At last week's Family Home Evening, one of my FHE brothers wore a shirt that said, "I Heart Boobs." After I saw this shirt, I looked around for validation to confirm that he was and is a total tool bag, but everyone avoided my eye contact. 'Boob' Brother, who I lovingly refer to as Beak, proceeded to give the spiritual thought to our group. Really!?! I guess they don't make 'em like they used to.

A few weeks ago, I had another bizarre encounter with some fine gentlemen. On this day, I was quite busy and I had an evening leadership meeting for my new church calling. This meeting began at 7PM and lasted until 9:30PM.

When the meeting was over, I drove two girls home that live in my same apartment complex. My intention was to drop the girls off, then park my car on the street. One of the girls got out, but my dear friend and Relief Society President, Carrie Fox stayed and chatted with me in my car. As we were sitting there, Eva walked by and hopped in the car to talk to us. Then came: Janese, Shelly, Sarah, Shanae, and Grouse (Allison). Each person packed in my car one by one. We sat there for a little while talking and laughing.

Suddenly, a car pulled up beside mine. There were two boys sitting in the front seats and they rolled down their window to say something, but I couldn't hear what the were saying. I rolled down my window to solve the problem. These boys must of been 17 years old, maybe a little younger or slightly older. They were both wearing their flat-billed caps backwards. They were also adorned in very baggie, but brightly colored clothes. Mmm.... STOOPID.

The driver of the mysterious vehicle said this, "Hey shorties, looks like you got lots of ladies in your car. Do some of you wanna get in my car?" Did I mention these boys are white? We all laughed and of course Eva, was the first to say, "How old are you?" Where's your mom?" The boys continued to throw out words and jargon heard only on VH1 reality shows or Rap music videos.

I asked what they were doing and they said, "You know? Creepin' on some girls." I don't think they know they live in Rexburg, Idaho. They told us they went to BYU-Idaho. LIE NUMBER ONE. They told us they were 19. LIE NUMBER TWO. Carrie asked them if they were going to serve missions. The driver said, I haven't decided yet... Should I go? We all emphatically answered YES! I asked them what courses they were taking. They were obviously thrown for a loop at this inquisition. After some audible "Uhhhss" and "Ummmss," they finally answered, "Oh you know, general education." I said, "Oh, so you're probably taking Book of Mormon, right?" The kid in the passenger seat immediately replied, "No! We're not that good." HAHAHA AAHAHAHA!!! He thought we'd be soooo impressed. Carrie then said, "If you wanna creep on some girls, the dorms are that way." I finally felt fed up with the situation when the driver said to me, "Have you seen The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift?" I responded sarcastically, "Yeah it's on the top of my list along with The Shawshank Redemption." The boy responded, "Sh@$ yeah! My car is in that movie. Do you like my car?..."

...Well, that was it for me. I was officially over these thug preschoolers creepin' on me.

I wrapped up the conversation by saying, "OK well, good luck with school and I hope you boys decide to serve missions. They stared at us blankly and the driver said, "You guys are really mean." He put his car in gear and drove off crying... I'm assuming.

As you can all plainly see, I've had some bizarre encounters with men. This semester has been one of great first, second, and third impressions. I hope my sarcastic tone is noted.

Toupee or Not Toupee

I'm shattered and disturbed by the fact that Elton John doesn't write his own lyrics. What a fake! This is a devastating betrayal. "Tiny Dancer," "Rocket Man" (a personal favorite), "Candle in the Wind," and "Bennie and the Jets" for heaven's sake... It's all fake! What's next? Oh, you're not really British, Elton? Ah, and your name isn't Elton... It's Bo-Jangles??? I feel like retching all over his terrible Toupee. Yet another lie. I bet he doesn't even know who Princess Diana or Marilyn Monroe are?

Blue Collar WoMan

I have a job. Great, right? No.

This job is working for RTD's treasury department.

Work begins at 6am. Jank.

I sit in a broken swivel chair.

I have to wear a hospital-gown-blue jumpsuit.

It's flattering.

It hugs me in all the right places.

It's comfortable.

And it makes me look smaller than I am.

If you've ever seen Pee Wee's Big Adventure,

I look exactly like Francis Buxton.

Uncanny, really.

This job lasts only a week and a half more.

I'm awaiting its conclusion with great excitement.

I've never been so motivated to receive a college education.

I'll try to get a snapshot of myself stretching in my jumpsuit.

Still Foxy

OK, ok, Okay... I know it's been forever, but it's only because a life changing event occured and it's taken me a long while to truly process and gather my thoughts. I've been writing about this event bit by bit for months now. I never want to forget this night. I wanted every detail, emotion, and feeling to be put down in writing. It's mostly for me, but I want to share.

CAUTION: THIS IS EXTRAORDINARILY and EXCESSIVELY LONG

Alrighty, you ready?

For those of you who don't know me at all... I have a deep-rooted love and obsession with STYX. Finally, the dream of seeing Styx in concert and being in the same arena as Tommy Shaw was realized.

Let me give you the background on Tommy. He is one of two original members of Styx. He has golden locks that transcend time and space. He was in a Calvin Klein ad. He wore all black and a red scarf the first time I saw him. He is my boyfriend. I believe we're in a serious, monogamous relationship. He's 56, married, and the love of my life.

By the time plans were finalized to travel from Rexburg to Denver, it was the morning before the concert. The journey began at 11AM with Tommy Shaw in our heart, Styx on the stereo, and magic in the air. I strongly resembled a stupid schoolgirl/groupie/Band-Aids (obscure Almost Famous reference). We had a full ten hours to conjure-up and imagine our fate at the concert. Endless conversations began and ended with Tommy Shaw's name. Oh boy! He can hit me. If it's not completely obvious let me be redundant. I love Tommy Shaw! He's the only man I could ever really commit myself to. I was willing to do anything to meet him, this includes getting arrested.

Once we entered Red Rocks Amphitheater, it was clear that the audience members were mostly dead-heads tightly gripping the 70's and their reefer buzz. I've seen enough foo-man-choo's and skullets (a mullet but bald on top exposing the skull) to last me a lifetime. I was surfing a sea of tie-dye in the twentieth row, awaiting Styx arrival.

Kansas opened the show. What a buzz kill. They were better than I thought, but still... *snooze* Even though they weren't Styx, I found their appearances to be highly entertaining. The stage persona I'm certain they were trying achieve, made them easily identifiable. Here's how:

1) Eye-Patch man

2) Bare-Chest-Vest man

3) Tony Gazelle (google image that bizz)

As the sun made its day's descent, so did my heart as it sunk deep into my chest. I was a child awaiting, hoping, and wishing for one distant glance from Tommy. Oh, Tommy can you hear me? Will you see me? When Styx arrived on stage it was the crowning moment of my existence. I screamed, hooped, and hollered. I flailed like a crazy person escaping the looney bin with the scent of freedom in their nostrils. Tommy Shaw glided on stage like a gazelle, Rock God. I saw a man. He is my idol. He is the one. He has the all encompassing "IT" factor.

Styx was everything. They were salvation.

During their set Tommy Shaw said, "I have a feeling this is

someone's first Styx concert." I leaped in the air screaming and waving my arms, certain he felt my heart in some rare cosmic circumstance. The next song began, but Tommy was still talking while the song was in full-frontal mode. I continued to leap higher and higher in hopes of getting his attention. He pointed around where I was standing and said,

"I see you, I see you up there."

...WHAT???

Now, here's the deal, I knew there was very little, to no chance he was referring to me in a crowd of 10,000 people, but I told myself, just take it as if it were true... As if he were really pointing and talking to you whilst singing and tearing his glorious axe to shreds!

The rest of the concert was magical. I loved every second. Two of the moments I will never forget are as follows: While Styx played "Come Sail Away," I looked behind me and saw 10,000 people collectively fist pumping, moving, and singing in unison. As I stole a glance behind me, all I could see was the deeply fallen night  sky, and the faces of utterly gratified audience members for this sublime music. 

The other crowning moment involved the song "Renegade." During their encore, a young girl, no more than six years-old, sat on her father's shoulders waving her fist in unison with every nuance and idiosyncrasy of the music. She sang every word with her hair all adorned in ribbons and a Styx T-shirt. Although there was a vast difference in our ages, the moment captured a mutual and united love we each felt for the music.

With their set concluded, I went on a pain-staking quest to FIND Mr. Shaw (that sounds sexy). Foreigner was prepping to take the stage, we took that as our cue to get the search underway. It's all about Tommy... (Peace OUT Foreigner)! It was difficult. It was like trying to solve a crossword puzzle: You're making great progress, but 17 across and 24 down are making it impossible to solve the puzzle as a whole (17 across and 24 down would be security guards). We annoyed everyone with our crazy antics, but when you're young and on a mission, you can't be worrying about "social norms" or people's "personal boundaries." It's all in the name of love.

Finally, we got some useful information that led us right to their tour buses.about our motives so

PAH-TOW!

But, here's how it happened...

Many things occurred between sitting around the tour buses and actually meeting Tommy Shaw. I wont dive into any details 'cause frankly, I'm tired of writing about all the things not Tommy related. After waiting around for nearly two hours we were starting to lose our drive and hope. We began a list of pro's and con's to help us decide whether to leave or not. During our long wait we watched dozens and dozens of large white vans travel up to the stage, and come back down again. We were told that when Tommy returned to the tour bus, he would be in one of those vans. We waited and waited. Every time we saw a van come down the hill our hearts skipped.

Just as all hope seemed lost, another bus came down the long, winding road. The security guard got up to remove the rope blocking the public from the tour buses. I just had the feeling he was in the van. As soon as the van doors opened, the inner lights came on and there sat Tommy Shaw, with his Golden Locks laying delicately on his shoulders. WE BOTH BOOKED IT... We definitely crossed many lines, but we had to make it to the other side.

WE just went for it.

We started calling after him. "Tommy, Tommy, Hey Tommy!!! Can we get a picture?"

I swear on my life and all that is true... Tommy Shaw went right up to his tour bus, planted his foot on the bus platform, and... wait for it... turned around!!! He stepped down from the bus, came towards me, and his first words were directed at me... He said, "Hey, I saw you in the audience."

IS ANYONE STILL BREATHING???

I have gone over and over this, "Did that really happen? Did he really say that to me?" That moment is forever ingrained in my soul. To try and explain how much that meant to me would be foolish and unsuccessful. There's no greater feeling than knowing you've shared a moment with your musical idol, while they were performing. Nothing can capture how special it is to me that when he saw me, he recognized me. I'll never forget this precious and truly magical moment. You'll notice the pure, unadulterated joy splashed all over my face in the following picture.

I'm so doofy, but happy!

Heavens, he's hansdome!

I'm happy to report Tommy Shaw was as kind and soft-spoken as I imagined him to be. He was generous in taking a picture with us and chatting for a few brief moments. I can't remember all that I said, because I was out of my mind with awe and splendor, but I do remember yelling out, "Tommy, you're my musical idol, really seriously, you're very important to me." I shouted this to him as he returned to his bus. He kindly gave us a final wave and smile.

He did in fact get on that bus. Drove to other cities. Played other shows for thousands. But for those few seconds I felt like his only fan. Boy, my lucky stars sure aligned, so I could meet my hero.

Tommy if you're out there and reading this... Thank you! Thank you for continuing to love your fans after 30 years in the business. Thank you for dusting off your magic on a couple of girls who adore you. Thank you for never cutting you hair... It's gorgeous! Thank you for rockin' out with as much intensity as I hoped you would. Thank you for reminding me what a gift music is. Thank you for staying true to your Styx roots and never trying to forget.

I promise I'll never forget that night. Most of all, I'll never rest until every human is educated and well-versed in the dynamic, instinctual, and unstoppable music hailing from, Mr. Tommy Shaw.

STYX = PURE RADIATING MUSICAL BRILLIANCE

Get.Over.It

In my journey to becoming physically fit and conditioned, I've continually had the same problem: The proper gym underwear. It's truly, a pain-staking and an embarrassing process finding the proper undergarments for recreational activity. Let me save everyone a lot of trouble... If you want to have a decent work-out, free of bunching, binding, wedgies, riding-up, or worse... riding down, you've gotta Granny Pantie that caboose. The sooner you discover this fact the more active and enjoyable your work-outs will become. Because the coined description "Granny Panties" seems so overly used, I started calling my gym undies "Half-Back Hanes." I'm sure there's no mystery in why this name was established, but alas, I will share, because I strive for awkward moments even if I can not witness them first-hand. Those suckers cover all your business, so much so, they reach new heights. I'm talkin'bout back height. Please get over it. This post is merely to prevent people from going through what I went through. You wont regret it... PROMISE. Seriously, if this offends anyone, you're a prude. I'm only trying to help. This could be so much worse. Don't even get me started on Spanx (the infamous fat-suit).